In any power struggle there can be no victor, for while one may conquer the behavior of another, the character and souls of both are degraded and diminished.
The only way to come out unscathed if coerced into struggle is to struggle not for power, but for the liberty of both parties.
A power struggle is a symptom of individual hearts at war, be they parent and child, spouse and spouse, or nation and nation. A heart may even be at war with oneself.
Hearts at war and their symptomatic power struggles serve only to pull down the human race; when one of us is degraded, all of us are degraded, and when one of us improves, we are all better off.
A body may be at war while the heart is at peace and a heart may be at war while the body is at peace, nonetheless where the heart is the body will eventually follow.
A heart at peace strives for meaning while a heart at war strives for lust, usually a lust of power.
A family with hearts at peace lift each other while a family with hearts at war resist each other. Phrased another way, a family with hearts at peace pull together (i.e. pull with each other in a constructive manner that lifts the whole) while a family with hearts at war pull against each other.
This is all nice and good, but how do we maintain a heart at peace? How do we resist a power struggle?
Much could be said here, and I recommend the following two books:
* The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute
* Parenting a House United by Nicholeen Peck
At this time I will only add that clarity helps. If we know what we want most -- peace over power, kindness over being right, love over fear, calm over frustration -- and we have faith and confidence regarding what to do in any given situation to obtain these, then we will obtain them.
Others may continually invite us to a power struggle, but in our hearts we can always choose a peaceful engagement.
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