"Love is more than just an emotion; it's a verb." I've heard that so many times, but I don't know that I've ever felt like its meaning has really reached me.
Is love really a feeling?
I know what it is to feel loved. It's wonderful, really. It feels great!
To feel love, on the other hand... well, I'm not so sure. There are times I've thought "I love her so much, I'd do anything for her!" Seeing myself more clearly now, I realize that what I was really saying was "I'd do anything to get her love." That's not loving someone, that's simply a business transaction!
To feel love for someone, yes, it's a feeling, even a motivating feeling, but it's not a give-to-get, or even any kind of a get feeling. It's simply a genuine interest, even a commitment, to someone's success.
There are times when I'm in a romantic mood and hope I can get my wife to swoon over me, and too often that is mistaken for feeling love or in love. In fact it seems to have the dog by the tail -- it is the emotion of wanting to feel loved, not of wanting to love!
Love is a motivator of unconditional giving. Love does not ask "what's in it for me?" Love asks, "how can I assist you in obtaining your success?" Sometimes the loving thing to do is not always the most pleasant.
It is thence clear why Daring Greatly author Brene Brown says "we can only love others as much as we love ourselves." Just as a person with no food for himself can not provide food for others, so a person who does not love him/herself can not love others. Who would dare reach to a level of vulnerability with another beyond that which they will tolerate by themselves?
Notably, self-love does not lead to selfishness; self-love is not pride but the essence of humility. Seeing ourselves clearly is the beginning of wisdom; with this vision, loving ourselves wholly is the beginning of accountability.
How much self-love can I own if someone calls me out on my shortcomings and I can simply say "thank you, I know." How much loving space can I then hold for such a person?
In the Savior's perfect and infinite love for us, a love which led Him to and through the Atonement, Death, and Resurrection, He also loves Himself.
We would do well to love ourselves and thus become more accountable and content.
Yes, love is a feeling, but it is oh so much more!
