A great marriage is emotional connection and attachment.
It’s deeply beautiful that we each experience emotional connection and attachment in our own unique way, though this difference can often feel like a frustration.
Emotional connection and attachment is neither emotional dependence nor gridlock, which are the results of resisting the path to deeper emotional connection and attachment.
To more deeply obtain emotional connection and attachment with our spouse, we must choose it because we desire it, not because we fear losing it. The seeming paradox is that the capacity to make this choice is derived from our individual strength of character.
A functioning marriage pushes us toward deeper emotional connection and attachment which in turn pushes us to develop the individual character necessary to obtain it.
To take an account of one’s marriage, one might best seek evaluation on his or her own level of engagement in (or resistance to) this process.
There are many ways to resist. Common resistance techniques include spousal-blaming (if s/he would, then I would, but I can't, because s/he won't), avoidance (pretending it's not there, hoping that will make it eventually go away), entitlement (I shouldn't have to, it's not my responsibility), and despair (it's not worth it, I can't make it work no matter what I do).
There are many more forms of resistance -- which one is most common for you?
Is now the time to take a step in a new direction?
