Asking for what we need and want

Imagine a parent/child conversation as follows:

Child: I don’t want milk, please.
Parent: What do you want?
Child: I don’t want milk.
Parent: Okay, but what do you want?
Child: I just don’t want milk.
Parent: Okay, you don’t have to drink it then.
Child: But I don’t WANT milk!
Parent: Great, that’s fine. You don’t need to have milk, but tell me what you want and I may be able to get it for you.
Child: I just don’t want MILK!
Parent: I know. So what do you want me to do?
Child: Don’t give me milk!
Parent: You already have milk. What would you like me to get you instead?
Child: I DON’T WANT MIIIIIIIILK!!!!!!!!!!!
Parent: Well, when you are able to tell me what you do want, let me know.
Child: <Pouts for a while> Mommy?! (or Daddy?!)
Parent: Yes, sweety?
Child: I want a drink
Parent: Okay honey, what would you like to drink?
Child: I don’t want milk
Parent: I know that, but what do you want?
Child: Something.
Parent: What something?
Child: Something to drink.
Parent: What something to drink?
Child: Not milk.
Parent: Since milk is what you don’t want to drink, what is it that you DO want to drink?
Child: I don’t know.
Parent: <Waits attentively and patiently while child tries to figure out what s/he wants to drink>
Child: Mommy? (or Daddy?)
Parent: Yes?
Child: May I have juice?
Parent: Yes! Of course! <Goes to get some juice>
Child: <Happy, bounces up and down in chair.>
Parent: <Fills glass of child’s favorite juice - let’s say it’s apple.>
Child: <Happily takes a sip, puts cup down with a frown.> Mommy! (or Daddy!), not THIS JUICE!!!!
Parent: Huh?
Child: Not this juice Mommy! (or Daddy!)
Parent: You don’t want apple juice?
Child: I don’t want apple juice!
Parent: Okay, what kind of juice do you want?
Child: Not apple juice!
Parent: Not apple juice, okay. Which kind of juice DO you want?
Child: Other kind of juice!
Parent: Which other kind of juice?
Child: The other kind! The orange kind!
Parent: You want orange juice?
Child: Yeah! Orange juice!
Parent: Okay. Is it okay if I drink your apple juice?
Child: Yes
Parent: <Downs apple juice real quick so as not to waste it. Rinses cup with water. Fills it with orange juice.>
Child: <Happy, bounces up and down in chair.>
Parent: <Gives cup to child with orange juice.>
Child: Mommy! (or Daddy!)
Parent: Yes, sweetie?
Child: I don’t want this cup!
…

And you get the idea. In the Bible Dictionary under prayer it says: "The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them.” I think part of the reason for this is that, in order to ask, we must define clearly what we want. He knows what we want, but by requiring us to ask implies that we have figured out and clearly defined what we want. What do we want? What does it look like? How do we want it? What kind of cup do we want it in? etc. etc. Not that we necessarily get it exactly how we ask, but learning to ask clearly for what we want is, I think, not trivial.

So, some examples.

"Please bless Amy." Okay, bless her how? With what? "Just bless her." Um... right. What do you want for her?

"Please bless me with thy Spirit." Okay, what are you seeking? Are you wanting protection? Are you wanting guidance about a specific situation? Are you wanting understanding as you study? Are you wanting strength to stand up for what you believe in? Are you anticipating a certain situation that may challenge you?

"I hate my job. I just don't like it." Okay, what do you want? What do you like? Get clear with yourself, what are you seeking? I can get you fired or laid off just fine. What are you seeking?

"Please help me have patience." Ooh, happy to! Uh... you might want to clarify. ;-)


Again, God knows what we want better than we do, but we need to ask. I think it is valuable and important then, for our own sake, to consider and clearly define what we want so we can thus ask for it.